How was your summer? This is the question I was asked the most during the first week of classes last year, and I could honestly reply that it was amazing. No, I didn’t do a special internship. No, I didn’t go anywhere fancy. Last summer I did “nothing” and that was exactly what I wanted after finishing my first year of grad school. To be more specific, I was intentional about using that summer to rest, read for my research, explore St. Louis and spend time with God, and that’s exactly what I did by God’s grace. Though a year later, I believe the same intentionality and planning will be useful in making the most of this summer ahead. Let me tell you about how I got to a point of desiring rest last summer and my experience in doing so.
Back in May 2022, during the end-of- semester rush, I was sitting in my bed spending time with God, and the thought of having to wake up and report somewhere at 9am was just a no. I could feel myself approaching burnout and the thought of being on someone else’s schedule and meeting external deadlines was overwhelming for me—I dreaded it. I was considering WashU’s Digital Humanities Summer Workshop fellowship, and I felt bad because I was interested in the workshop (plus it was paid), but my body really needed a break. Though the workshop was a great opportunity, by God’s grace I mustered up the courage to turn down the fellowship and focus on myself that summer. I strongly desired to read books for my own research interest, and I wanted to do things on my own schedule. I felt the pressure to be “doing” something and to be “productive,” and in hindsight, even though I didn’t do the workshop, my summer was so productive. I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it, and it was so refreshing. I fought the fear of missing out and did what was best for me and I’m so glad that I did.
I also want to mention that last summer I tutored incarcerated men weekly at the Missouri Eastern Correctional Center, which was a refreshing and fulfilling experience! I had worked with the students during the spring semester, so it was nice to see some of the guys again that summer. I originally didn’t plan to tutor because I was going to do the workshop, but since I had more control over my time I could fit it into the pace of the summer that I desired.
Not only was summer 2022 special because I took ownership of my time and read the things that I wanted to read, but I also chose to stay in St. Louis so that I could grow in my community rather than go back home to Columbus. At first I was nervous about justifying that desire to my parents and community back home, but yet again I practiced the skill of asserting my desire, even if it didn’t align with other people’s expectations. A big fear for me in choosing the summer that I did, was how it would look to other people (it was definitely counter-cultural), but I’m so happy that I chose to take the summer off because I truly needed the space.
Last summer, I got to explore St. Louis which was really important to me because unlike undergrad, I live in the city and wanted to be more involved in the community. Last summer, I FINALLY visited Forest Park (it’s bigger than Central Park in New York!), went to the history museum (in the park), went to Art Hill (also in the park), went on morning walks (in the park), rode my bike (in the park), and went to Shakespeare in the Park (I promise “in the park” is actually part of its name!). I also got so much closer to other young adults in my church through our summer life group and got to see more parts of my city. I love St. Louis and I’m so glad that I had time to really soak up the city without the pressure of the semester. I look forward to growing more here in the coming years of my PhD!
Last summer was also absolutely amazing because I got to really grow in God’s love for me which was my prayer for this year 2022 (Ephesians 3:16-19)! Without the time constraint of reporting to work at 9am (note, I was still receiving a stipend in the summer, so by God’s grace I had the privilege of not doing additional work in order to support myself), I was able to spend extended mornings with God and dive more into His Word and presence when I needed to (and I needed Him a lot that summer—and I still do!).
This may sound strange, but last summer I wanted to feel bored, because I couldn’t remember the last time I felt that way—maybe the end of high school, or even before that. Truth be told, I remember feeling like I’ve always had “something” to do, and I wanted to take a break from the busyness. I wanted to slow down and just be, and taking last summer to myself really gave me the opportunity to do just that. I also figured that it would be my last summer to really just take a break (without any external expectations from my program; for example, this summer I need to start reading for my major fields exam), and I took advantage of that.
For you, you may not be able to take a whole summer to yourself, but I encourage you to check in with your soul and find out a way to give yourself what you need. Shut out the outside noise, and the inside one, too, of what it is that you’re “supposed to do”, and truly do what’s best for you. Because at the end of the day, if you’re burnt out you won’t be able to do what you need to do anyways. May God give us all grace to discern the times and seasons, so that we may know when to pause and how to do so. So however you choose to spend your summer, savor it.
“My heart has heard you say, ‘Come and talk with me.’ And my heart responds, ‘Lord, I am coming.’” Psalm 27:8 NLT
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens” Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV
Writing Song: “This House” by Evvie McKinney and “My Prayer (Yahweh)” by CalledoutMusic
WhollyRebecca 